The things that drive me mad about her are what I’m grateful for
I’m not at all like my mother and my mother is not at all like me. I’m her only daughter and she’s my only mother. We’ve been stuck with each other for as long as I’ve been alive and in all that time, I’m not entirely sure that we’ve come to any greater understanding of each other.
I was angry about that when I was younger and disappointed about it when I got older. I wished that she could be different and sometimes I tried to be different. Nothing really changed.
On my 40th birthday, I decided that I would stop blaming my mother. For anything and for everything. And that vow has changed everything. I am more patient. I’ve stopped listening to words and started hearing intent. I enjoy what we have and like being with her.
However, the real breakthrough has been realising that the things that drove me mad about her were the very things to be grateful for. There is a reason why I have a career and am financially independent. There is a reason why I am forthright and opinionated, resilient and like change. There is a reason why I dream big dreams and have little fear of the unknown. These, and more, all came from my mother. Thank you mother. And I’ll try to say that more often too.